take your medicine.

Well it's that time to "wrap up the week" and start a new one. I can easily wrap up this week because I did terrible

M- didn't go to gym because it was my gym day off since I worked 10 hours.
T- 30 minutes Cardio. 30 minutes Strength training.
W, TH, F, S, SU- Skipped gym, Lazy.

So as far as my 45 minutes-hour at the gym, six days a week...I did one day. Awful. And you know what, I feel awful. I feel like a failure. I feel depressed. I feel disappointed and ashamed. But why? Wasn't one day a week more than I did before? Yes. I let my hormones (on my period this past week(sorry tmi)) and depression get me down. I think I need to approach this differently. I think I need to start looking at the gym as medication. I take all my medications

every night, and so should I "take on" the gym. Exercising has been the best anti-depressant I have ever taken. The endorphins I get from working out really started to change my life. So this journey is not over...it's just a minor setback. And it's my first set back, I'm sure there is more to come, so I need to stop beating myself up. It's not making me feel any better, and beating myself up is how I got to 302 pounds in the first place.

I will admit, I have some of the best friends a person could ask for. Unfortunately we are all busy with our lives or live far away from each other, but I'm grateful for the bond and support I have. I don't think I would of even made it two months without all the people supporting me and rooting for me. A lot of people have told me I inspire them, can't say I quite get that because I feel like I've done nothing, but I hope someday I will.

This week will be different. I will "take my medicine," by going to the gym. I also set up a meal plan and went grocery shopping. I will not be defeated, but I will defeat the weight.