push yourself

I'm really having hard time getting to the gym. Haven't been the last three days. It's not that I want to give up on my journey, by any means, I'm just feeling blah. Wednesday, my depression was bad. Thursday, I just didn't want to go, though I did walk the dogs a mile and a quarter. And today, well, I actually wanted to go but my feet were in ruins because my stupid butt wore my Minnetonka slippers for the dog walk the day before. I could barely walk at work, the pads of my feet killed. So what did I do tonight? Walk the dogs in flip-flops! What's wrong with me? See what happens is...First, I decide that I have to at least take the dogs for a walk since I didn't go to the gym. Then, when I'm on the walk I decide I need to jog some. Finally, I decide to keep going until I at least hit a mile.

(((By the way.... I use an app on my phone called "Map My Walk", it's apart of the Map My Fitness apps. It helps so I know how far I went and it guess-timates how many calories I burn. I love it.)))

So even though I did do something as far as movement, I need to go to the gym and push myself the next few days. I hope the pads of my feet aren't killing me tomorrow because they're just gonna have to hurt while I'm at the gym.

On a side note, I think I must be mentally nuts because I feel like a complete failure for not going to the gym these past few days. It's not like I want to give up, I just really get mad at myself for not pushing myself to go. I guess I'm afraid that I can't do this. That I can't lose 110 more pounds. I have a hard time believing in myself. I mean what if I fail? I know I shouldn't think like this, but these are the thoughts that creep in my mind.