heartfelt

I can not even describe how crazy blessed I feel and how thankful I am.

God has just been molding me and working on me this past year and I feel completely changed. I feel strong and whole. I am still working on who He wants me to be, but I know I am more than one step closer. And the joy, the unspeakable joy, I have felt, especially in this past week, is just so amazing. One thing is I know I'm not just growing up but I am growing up with Him. I feel Him in me and with me, it is something so indescribable but beautiful. I just have all these random, heartfelt emotions. I don't feel so lost anymore, because He has FINALLY told me that I am right where I need to be even though I have no idea why. But I don't feel the need to question Him, I know it's all right.

One thing that I have been bothered by is judgment. Judgment from my peers and judgment I have been doing myself. I know I have a problem judging others, as everyone else does, but I also have a problem judging me. Lately I have felt people of my peers have been completely judging me wrong, it's caused me to take a step back, some hurt, and has given me some anxiety. But on Saturday night, when I was praising the Lord, He spoke to me...it was so so clear what He said::

"Do not be concerned about the judgment of others- they do not see you as I do. You are My beautiful daughter, valuable to Me, and that is all the matters."

What an AWESOME thing to hear God say. It was just so surreal to hear, it was just what I needed. Why do I care about what others think of me? Honestly no one truly knows me but God and maybe my mom and some of my closet girlfriends. If people don't want to take the time to get to honestly know me, and just want to judge me...it's okay- that is their problem!!! I need not worry. I need to just keep seeking God and asking Him to mold me and create me into who He wants me to be.

I'm happy, so happy. And so blessed that He is with me. I'm truly grateful.